Foto Friday
I have come to the realization that all this blogging is starting to effect me. On a daily basis I'm reminded constantly that life is short, too short, and my kids are growing up way to dang fast. It may also have to do with the fact that I've gone through some loss here in my life lately. First my dad and then my sister. No, I have not talked about my sister yet it's still a little hard for me cause I really don't even know how to talk about it, never have. I will soon though, promise! Mollie had a school program last night and of course I cried. Then I was watching ER and could hardly even see the TV. It was sad but come on I had like monster tears.
So, Ya, something is up with me. I think it's the blogging, I do:) I don't know what to do about it though cause I love my blogging. I love to share my pictures and I try to keep it happy but just like these pictures above they kill me, cause Hayman is no longer a baby, I mean jeez his new word is "actually" it is actually and he uses it perfect in a sentence.:) But when I look at these photos I just see my sweet little baby boy. OH, Ya, It may also be the fact that Bill and I have decided that 3 is good and we are not gonna have anymore babies. That too is killing me! Not that I don't think it's the best thing for our family but just the pure fact that I'M getting OLD and I'm done having babies, and that the part of my life I looked forward to the most for so many years is almost over! Oh my God, seriously, TEARS! I'm kinda tired of the tears. I just want to be merry and not so stinking emotional about life. Oh maybe its because on top of all this I finally finished the book The SHACK! That's it, maybe it's that? Amazing amazing book! If you haven't read you need to!
Well sorry to get so teary on you I just had to let that out. Maybe I will try and take a break from blogging, doubt it, I don't know though something needs to get better. I just can't walk around all time so fricken sad My kids are growing up, its just not normal.
Hey, It's Friday night, good news no cooking tonight but I must go clean so I can enjoy the evening!
6 comments:
Now you are making me cry..... *sniff*... no really though- I think its just a hard concept that it goes so quickly and its hard to prepare for that. I don't know many people who are satisfied with the idea of being done having babies and to watch their children grow up. and if its not normal for us to feel that way..then I am right there with ya and we can be sad together. (((((Hugs)))))
Welcome to my life ;p
Hayden is gorgeous!!!! ACTUALLY! ;p
Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun:
a time to weep and a time to laugh
you are better than fine girlfriend.
I have been really really holding on to my baby Siler...I can't belive he is my last either and COME ON, I have 6! I guess it is normal to grieve a little.
and your Dad AND Sister...of course that is going to cause emotions....
I also LOVE the Shack. You know my favorite parts :P
so I was at WalMart today with Zack and SIler and I had three different elderly women in different areas of the store tell me how lucky I am to still have young ones at home :D I know I know..it's just a little hard when I am in it..I WANT to appreciate this time, I DO! *sigh*
Enjoy your no cooking night, friend. I am making stir fry and fried rice..yuuum.
Loved the pics, loved the post more. We miss you!
Tear...you are wonderful! I love your blog and get excited every time there is something new! So keep it up PLEASE!!!
I am sorry about your sister, I have wonderful memories of her coming to watch you cheer at the basketball games. We were such good cheerleaders I might add!!!
I just read "The Shack" too and LOVED it. I can't believe it took place in Oregon. I loved his message and believed A LOT of it.
Okay, that's all I have to say ha
But you are amazing and a wonderful mother, wife and friend so enjoy life AND STOP CRYING ALL THE TIME, ha just kidding
Love and miss you Steph
Ok, girl, here it goes.
You can't stop blogging.
And here's why. Your blog is a little window to your world for your children. It is a way for them to remember their childhood. And a way for you to document the good, the bad, and the really super sad. And all of it together is part of your family's journey. And you would be cheating them if you didn't include things that challenged you and grieved you. Because they will be challenged and grieved in their lives. And then they will look back and see that you were to, and they will see that it is OK to be sad, and they will look to your example of strength and courage.
And your blog is where you get to freeze your children young because they don't stay that way.
And your blog is where we get to see your stunning pictures, and wish we had some for ourselves.
So there. Please keep it up.
And since I've been out of the loop so long, I obviously don't know what sad things have surrounded your family, but my heart goes out to you. And hugs are being sent across the miles.
I've felt it such a privilege to catch up with you (and so many others) over these fancy computers. So thank you for having such a beautiful family for me to enjoy getting to know!
I print my blogs to use as a reference to who I am , where I have been and the future road that lies ahead of me, a place I brag, complain, cry, understand and laugh at my life and all that is in it. Dont take a gift away from yourself, embrace it. The Shack, was amazing, and that will truly open your mind up and allow some of the feelings you may not have known what to do with, it may be allowing them to flow a bit, I dont know the story behind your sister, but having one of my own, to even mention it would be hard let alone dealing with it head on. Let this be your place to talk and work through all that life teaches you , most of all it teaches and shows your talents, loves, passions and just simply who you are, and I see a wonderful person.... Peace to you Jodi
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